1
00:00:59,798 --> 00:01:00,954
Hello John.

2
00:01:02,001 --> 00:01:03,651
Coming 'round for tea tonight?

3
00:01:04,368 --> 00:01:05,676
Chicken pie.

4
00:01:11,168 --> 00:01:12,614
Die........-!!!

5
00:01:13,227 --> 00:01:15,547
Congratulations, DI Major,

6
00:01:15,766 --> 00:01:17,572
you shot your grandmother.

7
00:01:17,734 --> 00:01:18,914
Again.

8
00:01:19,223 --> 00:01:21,406
You've obviously never
tried her chicken pie.

9
00:01:21,596 --> 00:01:23,507
I told you these
tests were pointless.

10
00:01:23,519 --> 00:01:24,597
Carver, is that you?

11
00:01:24,746 --> 00:01:26,746
The tests are essential.

12
00:01:26,852 --> 00:01:29,609
I've installed a full
software update.

13
00:01:29,634 --> 00:01:31,451
If it works he'll have
faster cognition,

14
00:01:31,476 --> 00:01:32,889
with no more glitches

15
00:01:32,903 --> 00:01:34,524
Carver, were you in the room
just now,

16
00:01:34,549 --> 00:01:36,159
when I asked about
getting porn on this?

17
00:01:36,184 --> 00:01:36,896
No,

18
00:01:36,908 --> 00:01:39,080
but thanks for
bringing us up to speed.

19
00:01:39,105 --> 00:01:42,062
I need something to help me relax.
Oww!

20
00:01:42,087 --> 00:01:43,357
Fuck a duck!

21
00:01:43,763 --> 00:01:45,787
They filter the Internet in here.

22
00:01:46,005 --> 00:01:49,111
I'm making my own photo-fit images
to jerk off to.

23
00:01:49,174 --> 00:01:52,544
Would you have any idea
how humiliating that ...

24
00:01:52,661 --> 00:01:54,583
Hi, hello.

25
00:01:54,857 --> 00:01:59,123
These people are members of the
AI Ethics Committee.

26
00:01:59,295 --> 00:02:01,736
They're here to observe your new
software update.

27
00:02:01,761 --> 00:02:03,761
How do you do.

28
00:02:04,329 --> 00:02:07,073
I don't think anyone wants to
shake that now, mate.

29
00:02:07,998 --> 00:02:11,012
We haven't got time to sit here
on our fannies.

30
00:02:11,727 --> 00:02:13,739
We got crimes to solve.

31
00:02:19,814 --> 00:02:22,580
"Fannies"?
Are you sure about this update?

32
00:02:24,699 --> 00:02:28,314
As you can see,
he's making excellent progress.

33
00:02:36,018 --> 00:02:39,377
These maps show the location for the
three most recent incidents.

34
00:02:39,619 --> 00:02:41,851
Well, the three points
form a triangle.

35
00:02:42,077 --> 00:02:43,572
That can't be a coincidence.

36
00:02:43,666 --> 00:02:45,666
Any three points form a triangle.

37
00:02:46,573 --> 00:02:48,885
This is the area where the fly-tipping
is concentrated.

38
00:02:49,127 --> 00:02:50,984
We need you to get in there and ...
- Fly-tipping?

39
00:02:51,383 --> 00:02:52,885
We are detective inspectors.

40
00:02:52,897 --> 00:02:54,837
You want us out there
to catch litter bugs?

41
00:02:54,862 --> 00:02:56,495
After you cocked up
last time you're lucky

42
00:02:56,520 --> 00:02:57,899
you're not standing
in the middle of the road

43
00:02:57,924 --> 00:02:59,258
holding a bloody great lollipop.

44
00:02:59,325 --> 00:03:01,713
We should be out there busting
meth labs and pedophiles.

45
00:03:01,738 --> 00:03:03,392
- PAEDophile.
- That's what I said. Pedophile.

46
00:03:03,517 --> 00:03:04,930
- PAEDophile.
- That's what I said. Pedophile.

47
00:03:04,955 --> 00:03:07,334
This is your first case, John,
I'm breaking you in gently.

48
00:03:07,415 --> 00:03:09,673
And, Carver.
You're supposed to be supervising him,

49
00:03:09,698 --> 00:03:12,150
not jumping off bloody car parks!

50
00:03:13,527 --> 00:03:15,677
I'll make sure he behaves, boss.

51
00:03:17,018 --> 00:03:20,886
Any progress on the
investigation into my shooting?

52
00:03:21,261 --> 00:03:22,838
You stay well away from that, John,

53
00:03:22,863 --> 00:03:24,847
That's been Gilbert and
Ryle's case from day-one.

54
00:03:24,886 --> 00:03:27,481
- Gilbert and Ryle are crap!
- Leave it, leave it.

55
00:03:27,875 --> 00:03:30,852
We'll get you the results on this,
boss. Come on.

56
00:03:33,183 --> 00:03:35,902
One more thing. Carver's right.

57
00:03:36,185 --> 00:03:38,589
Three points always make a triangle.

58
00:04:05,049 --> 00:04:06,510
What's going on, Roy?

59
00:04:06,768 --> 00:04:09,334
I want to know who shot me,
and it's like no-one cares!

60
00:04:09,335 --> 00:04:13,118
Not Dennett, not Gilbert and Ryle!
I mean, not even you seem ...

61
00:04:14,496 --> 00:04:15,597
What's this?

62
00:04:15,855 --> 00:04:17,807
My secret hobby for the last year.

63
00:04:21,027 --> 00:04:22,558
Don't get excited.

64
00:04:22,707 --> 00:04:24,237
I haven't found any answers.

65
00:04:26,103 --> 00:04:27,338
Operation Blue Finch.

66
00:04:27,899 --> 00:04:29,782
Plus everything we
know about your shooting:

67
00:04:29,868 --> 00:04:33,509
Faces, wheels, known associates.

68
00:04:35,403 --> 00:04:37,403
Everything.

69
00:04:39,503 --> 00:04:40,535
What?

70
00:04:41,802 --> 00:04:43,199
Don't look at me like that,
it's weird.

71
00:04:43,224 --> 00:04:44,520
I don't deserve you, buddy.

72
00:04:44,532 --> 00:04:47,094
First you take the rap for the
car park thing, which was,

73
00:04:47,196 --> 00:04:49,071
technically my fault,
and now this.

74
00:04:51,285 --> 00:04:54,264
What else have you been
taking care of for me?

75
00:04:56,068 --> 00:04:57,576
Kelly.

76
00:05:07,594 --> 00:05:10,680
Hiya. You all right?
How are you doing?

77
00:05:11,101 --> 00:05:12,752
Yeah, not too bad,
really, under the circ ...

78
00:05:12,777 --> 00:05:14,555
Oh, sorry, you were talking to him.

79
00:05:16,525 --> 00:05:17,640
I didn’t realise you were
sleeping here,

80
00:05:17,665 --> 00:05:19,182
I thought you
had your own place.

81
00:05:19,657 --> 00:05:22,268
I do have my own place, Kelly.
You just won't let me live in it.

82
00:05:22,541 --> 00:05:24,744
What are these? Is
it a photo-fit image?

83
00:05:24,909 --> 00:05:27,643
- Who's that?
- They're erm, confidential.

84
00:05:29,915 --> 00:05:32,220
Well, I brought you over
your things so ...

85
00:05:32,570 --> 00:05:35,151
Have you come to say that we're
through? Do I need an attorney?

86
00:05:35,284 --> 00:05:37,472
What! Do you mean lawyer?

87
00:05:37,613 --> 00:05:41,244
What? No. I came here
to ask you out for dinner.

88
00:05:43,544 --> 00:05:46,805
Because I can't remember the last
time we had a meal together, actually.

89
00:05:47,086 --> 00:05:49,072
Okay. Well. It was
the night that I got shot.

90
00:05:49,153 --> 00:05:50,206
We had that big row..

91
00:05:50,231 --> 00:05:51,771
Roy was comforting you,
and I remember thinking ...

92
00:05:51,796 --> 00:05:54,081
I should be going.
Give me a call later, yeah?

93
00:05:57,152 --> 00:05:58,531
Things are looking up!

94
00:05:59,136 --> 00:05:59,965
Yeah ...

95
00:06:00,997 --> 00:06:03,675
I'll just be a minute, mate, yeah?

96
00:06:06,427 --> 00:06:08,427
Since when did I support
Liverpool?

97
00:06:09,978 --> 00:06:11,042
Kelly!

98
00:06:11,067 --> 00:06:12,543
What, you're taking him out
on a date?

99
00:06:12,568 --> 00:06:14,554
- I need to talk to him.
- But what about talking to me?

100
00:06:14,624 --> 00:06:16,042
You've ignored my phone calls.

101
00:06:16,054 --> 00:06:18,243
Roy, these last few months
have been amazing, but,

102
00:06:18,268 --> 00:06:23,328
y'know it's like we've woken up
or more specifically, he's woken up.

103
00:06:23,453 --> 00:06:25,758
So, what, you just forget about us,
as if nothing's happened?

104
00:06:25,822 --> 00:06:27,517
I can't just dump John.
He's vulnerable.

105
00:06:27,564 --> 00:06:29,558
You know, if he messes up,
they're gonna...

106
00:06:29,949 --> 00:06:31,414
they're gonna...switch him off.

107
00:06:31,439 --> 00:06:33,111
Ah, bollocks will they switch him off!

108
00:06:33,135 --> 00:06:35,478
He's fine, Parfit's fixed him.

109
00:06:35,613 --> 00:06:38,525
I ran a software update.

110
00:06:38,790 --> 00:06:40,790
He won’t let me test it, so,

111
00:06:40,944 --> 00:06:42,825
I don’t know if it worked.
- This new software,

112
00:06:42,906 --> 00:06:45,045
is it American by any chance?
- Why do you ask?

113
00:06:47,290 --> 00:06:48,594
Catch ya' later, baby doll.

114
00:06:48,618 --> 00:06:50,618
Come on, buddy.
Time we hit that garbage dump.

115
00:06:52,505 --> 00:06:54,505
No reason in particular.

116
00:07:03,290 --> 00:07:05,303
- Nothing! Diapers ...
- Nappies!

117
00:07:05,384 --> 00:07:07,543
- ...aluminum cans...
- Aluminium!

118
00:07:08,017 --> 00:07:10,656
- I feel like a hobo.
- Oh for fuck's sake ...

119
00:07:11,741 --> 00:07:13,569
Why won't you do
Dr Parfit's tests?

120
00:07:13,796 --> 00:07:15,765
Look, I don’t need to be tested.

121
00:07:15,906 --> 00:07:19,390
'Cos I'm not a computer, or a robot,
or a machine!

122
00:07:20,195 --> 00:07:22,191
I'm augmented. That's all.

123
00:07:22,683 --> 00:07:25,097
We know that, mate.
But they're psychological tests,

124
00:07:25,369 --> 00:07:26,866
not the Turing test.
- What?

125
00:07:27,140 --> 00:07:28,629
The Turing test. Named after...

126
00:07:28,710 --> 00:07:31,429
Alan Turing, the code breaker,
I know what the Turing test is:

127
00:07:31,510 --> 00:07:32,748
you talk to someone
for an hour and

128
00:07:32,760 --> 00:07:34,183
see whether you
can tell if they're gay.

129
00:07:35,278 --> 00:07:37,656
It's definitely not that, mate.

130
00:07:38,414 --> 00:07:40,128
Bloody hell, what's this?

131
00:07:40,487 --> 00:07:42,091
- A cell phone.
- Mobile.

132
00:07:42,271 --> 00:07:44,599
There's no SIM. We might
be able to get some data off ...

133
00:07:44,638 --> 00:07:47,337
- Holy shit, a foot!
- Jesus!

134
00:07:48,493 --> 00:07:50,076
Male, size... ten.

135
00:07:50,146 --> 00:07:53,861
No blood.  Tissue damage indicates
it was sawn off post-mortem.

136
00:07:54,056 --> 00:07:55,461
We're looking at a homicide.

137
00:07:55,486 --> 00:07:58,086
Was it just a foot? But why
would someone dump a single foot?

138
00:07:58,164 --> 00:08:02,097
Ritualistic? Partial tattoo suggests
an occult significance.

139
00:08:02,175 --> 00:08:05,214
Shit, Major! Looks like we're back
in serious crimes after all.

140
00:08:07,110 --> 00:08:08,529
Ugh!  What did you do that for?

141
00:08:08,554 --> 00:08:10,554
- Oh, sorry.
- Fucking dickhead!

142
00:08:11,057 --> 00:08:12,350
Put it in a bag!

143
00:08:16,504 --> 00:08:19,520
Forensics said six hours
for a full DNA analysis.

144
00:08:20,083 --> 00:08:22,652
Judy, I need you to contact
Missing Persons,

145
00:08:22,677 --> 00:08:23,933
try to ID this tattoo.

146
00:08:23,958 --> 00:08:25,419
Okay, my name still
isn't Judy though...

147
00:08:25,431 --> 00:08:27,801
We're gonna crack this one,
John, I can feel it.

148
00:08:27,872 --> 00:08:30,475
Look who it is:  Inspector Gadget.

149
00:08:30,577 --> 00:08:32,464
Beat it, assholes. I'm busy.

150
00:08:32,894 --> 00:08:37,393
Yeah. Busy being interviewed by us.
about your shooting.

151
00:08:47,969 --> 00:08:49,329
You update Dennet on the foot.

152
00:08:49,354 --> 00:08:51,171
No, you found it.
You deserve the credit.

153
00:08:51,196 --> 00:08:53,599
There's no I in team, Roy.
This one's yours.

154
00:09:02,923 --> 00:09:05,711
Don't be nervous, DI Major,
we're not gonna charge you.

155
00:09:05,736 --> 00:09:07,547
Not unless your battery's low!

156
00:09:09,243 --> 00:09:12,561
It was a joke.
Y'know, about you being a computer.

157
00:09:12,688 --> 00:09:14,887
You shouldn't make jokes like that...

158
00:09:14,918 --> 00:09:17,275
it's not very "PC".

159
00:09:17,276 --> 00:09:19,391
What have you got on my shooting?

160
00:09:19,602 --> 00:09:21,602
The gunman had a red jeep.

161
00:09:22,004 --> 00:09:23,612
Did you put out an APB
on the vehicle?

162
00:09:23,637 --> 00:09:25,453
All right, Siri.

163
00:09:26,120 --> 00:09:27,789
We'll ask the questions.

164
00:09:28,562 --> 00:09:31,002
We heard someone gave you a name
just before you got shot.

165
00:09:32,287 --> 00:09:34,193
<i>Give me the name!</i>

166
00:09:34,943 --> 00:09:36,125
Yeah.

167
00:09:38,541 --> 00:09:41,112
I can't remember it.
I tried, but I just ...

168
00:09:42,281 --> 00:09:45,245
Okay. I understand.

169
00:09:47,807 --> 00:09:50,040
Have you tried switching yourself
off and on again?

170
00:09:50,065 --> 00:09:53,207
I am not a computer.
I'm a detective, a human detective!

171
00:09:53,384 --> 00:09:56,096
It's just banter.
We're not serious.

172
00:09:56,717 --> 00:09:58,731
Right, this is who you
should be after: Liam Cleasby

173
00:09:58,756 --> 00:10:00,278
known associate of the shooters.

174
00:10:00,426 --> 00:10:03,107
We had him a few days ago,
but he ... got away.

175
00:10:03,271 --> 00:10:04,530
We saw Cleasby a year ago.

176
00:10:04,542 --> 00:10:06,362
Small-time dealer,
he didn't know anything.

177
00:10:07,028 --> 00:10:09,055
So that's it then!
Interview concludes.

178
00:10:09,212 --> 00:10:11,174
- <i>Recording discontinued.</i>
- What, that's it?

179
00:10:12,611 --> 00:10:14,425
This is meant to be a
homicide investigation.

180
00:10:14,876 --> 00:10:17,202
- Yeah... is it though?
- What do you mean, "is it"?

181
00:10:17,227 --> 00:10:20,185
- I'm the one that was murdered!
- Yeah, you were murdered,

182
00:10:20,662 --> 00:10:22,482
but you're not murdered anymore,
are you?

183
00:10:22,607 --> 00:10:24,615
So is it a murder case, or not?

184
00:10:24,810 --> 00:10:28,046
I'd call it attempted murder,
possibly GBH.

185
00:10:28,071 --> 00:10:30,690
I'll be honest, you're giving the
lawyers a real headache.

186
00:10:30,769 --> 00:10:34,530
Are you telling me I've not been
murdered? I've been fucking murdered!

187
00:10:34,921 --> 00:10:37,609
Calm down. Ctrl-Alt-Del

188
00:10:40,221 --> 00:10:41,850
Well, thanks for your cooperation.

189
00:10:41,875 --> 00:10:43,480
We'll likely speak to you
again in the future.

190
00:10:43,565 --> 00:10:47,194
- We'll leave you on standby.
- Standby! Like a computer.

191
00:10:49,113 --> 00:10:51,493
- Douche-bags.
- Douche-bags?

192
00:11:04,128 --> 00:11:06,603
- Catch all that, Cleasby?
- I'll pass it on.

193
00:11:07,201 --> 00:11:09,731
<i> - What happens to him now? </i>
- That's above my pay grade.

194
00:11:09,943 --> 00:11:13,039
<i> - He doesn't remember anything. </i>
- He remembers the jeep.

195
00:11:22,329 --> 00:11:25,242
Pity. I always liked this car.

196
00:11:39,093 --> 00:11:42,249
The tattoo is a Celtic symbol
associated with the Isle of Man.

197
00:11:42,626 --> 00:11:45,900
I'm liaising with the Manx police.
Tissue samples are with forensics.

198
00:11:46,360 --> 00:11:48,365
Okay, DI Carver.
I'll give you 24 hours.

199
00:11:48,515 --> 00:11:50,134
Let's see if you can
prove people wrong.

200
00:11:50,159 --> 00:11:51,227
Thanks, boss.

201
00:11:54,132 --> 00:11:55,424
What people?

202
00:11:55,585 --> 00:11:58,444
Well, you know.  All those ones who
said you were washed up Major died.

203
00:11:58,469 --> 00:12:00,400
Who assumed you
were an alcoholic or

204
00:12:00,412 --> 00:12:02,318
had a breakdown,
you lost focus so much.

205
00:12:02,983 --> 00:12:05,759
God knows,
I said it myself a hundred times.

206
00:12:06,828 --> 00:12:07,867
Anyway,

207
00:12:07,879 --> 00:12:10,126
pep talk over. Go
and find me that killer.

208
00:12:16,039 --> 00:12:19,044
Just because I'm alive doesn't mean
I'm not a murder victim.

209
00:12:19,125 --> 00:12:20,664
Listen mate,
I don't mean to interrupt,

210
00:12:20,689 --> 00:12:22,444
but in this country
we drive on the left.

211
00:12:22,469 --> 00:12:24,000
What?

212
00:12:24,924 --> 00:12:26,176
Oh, shit!

213
00:12:29,581 --> 00:12:30,879
Sorry.

214
00:12:38,252 --> 00:12:40,013
Listen, mate,
I just want to say thanks for

215
00:12:40,025 --> 00:12:41,678
letting me take the
credit for the foot.

216
00:12:41,926 --> 00:12:45,009
The least I could. After the work
you done on my shooting.

217
00:12:45,213 --> 00:12:47,213
Operation Blue Finch.

218
00:12:47,747 --> 00:12:50,257
We're a good team.  We always were.

219
00:12:51,838 --> 00:12:53,659
You don't even know the half of it.

220
00:12:54,549 --> 00:12:55,870
What d'you mean?

221
00:12:55,974 --> 00:12:59,552
How do you think that foot got on
the garbage tip in the first place?

222
00:12:59,586 --> 00:13:01,689
- The killer dumped it there.
- Or,

223
00:13:02,353 --> 00:13:05,416
maybe a good friend
of yours put it there?

224
00:13:05,635 --> 00:13:07,654
A friend who has access to the morgue,

225
00:13:07,679 --> 00:13:10,243
who can borrow a bit
of "evidence" to give

226
00:13:10,255 --> 00:13:12,830
your career a much-needed
shot in the ass?

227
00:13:14,202 --> 00:13:16,496
Thanks, John.
That's very thoughtful.

228
00:13:16,577 --> 00:13:19,262
Yeah?   Cos I was worried you
might not be happy.

229
00:13:20,491 --> 00:13:23,231
- Why, what did you think I'd say?
- I dunno.

230
00:13:23,417 --> 00:13:26,447
Maybe, something like,
"you're a complete dickhead"?

231
00:13:26,638 --> 00:13:29,819
Who tampered with evidence,
desecrated a corpse,

232
00:13:29,900 --> 00:13:32,710
wasted police time, and
now we're both going to go to prison?

233
00:13:33,853 --> 00:13:35,603
You're pissed at me, aren't ya.

234
00:13:35,853 --> 00:13:37,025
You are.
You're pissed

235
00:13:37,337 --> 00:13:39,869
No, I'm pissed OFF.
You American twat!

236
00:13:40,357 --> 00:13:41,590
Pissed off!

237
00:13:41,615 --> 00:13:43,196
"Pissed" means drunk,

238
00:13:43,197 --> 00:13:46,580
and I'm stone-cold fucking sober!

239
00:13:49,494 --> 00:13:51,259
- He's real pissed.
- What were you thinking?!

240
00:13:51,486 --> 00:13:53,478
I was trying to help.

241
00:13:53,541 --> 00:13:55,541
You wanted to get
back on serious crimes!

242
00:13:55,615 --> 00:13:57,326
Not by committing one!

243
00:13:57,388 --> 00:13:58,724
What happens when the
DNA comes back,

244
00:13:58,759 --> 00:14:00,360
and it matches a body
we've already got?

245
00:14:00,372 --> 00:14:01,309
I thought of that.

246
00:14:01,334 --> 00:14:04,249
We say it's not the same victim,

247
00:14:05,641 --> 00:14:07,229
but twins!

248
00:14:07,299 --> 00:14:09,013
Identical twins have the same DNA!

249
00:14:09,014 --> 00:14:11,048
- Do they?
- I don't know, probably.

250
00:14:11,072 --> 00:14:12,630
Oh, fuckin' hell!

251
00:14:12,857 --> 00:14:15,771
We're in deep shit.
We need to fix this, and now!

252
00:14:15,852 --> 00:14:18,739
Yeah, yeah, and if anyone
can do that, it's us,

253
00:14:18,764 --> 00:14:22,056
and I would
honestly love to help, but

254
00:14:22,806 --> 00:14:25,302
I've got this date with Kelly
in 20 minutes, so erm ...

255
00:14:33,552 --> 00:14:35,552
You okay walking from here?

256
00:14:46,723 --> 00:14:48,141
I feel like we've
been here before.

257
00:14:48,222 --> 00:14:49,802
What, sitting across a table,
avoiding a

258
00:14:49,814 --> 00:14:51,251
conversation we
know we should have?

259
00:14:51,708 --> 00:14:54,177
No, no, I mean, this restaurant.

260
00:14:54,596 --> 00:14:56,432
Yeah, we have, yeah.
It used to be a bit scruffier.

261
00:14:56,457 --> 00:14:58,858
They've done it up, they've,
you know, ripped it apart,

262
00:14:58,882 --> 00:15:00,391
and modernized it, so...

263
00:15:00,392 --> 00:15:01,438
Bit like me, then!

264
00:15:01,450 --> 00:15:03,884
I should give you a
review on TripAdvisor.

265
00:15:04,292 --> 00:15:05,356
How many stars?

266
00:15:05,368 --> 00:15:08,088
Yes, well,
I don’t know that yet, do I?

267
00:15:08,242 --> 00:15:11,402
Oh, I remember we came here...

268
00:15:11,595 --> 00:15:12,737
for your birthday.

269
00:15:12,762 --> 00:15:14,955
You were wasted,
I'm surprised they let you back in.

270
00:15:15,151 --> 00:15:16,228
No I was not.

271
00:15:16,253 --> 00:15:18,657
Totally off your face.

272
00:15:18,814 --> 00:15:20,756
You told the waiter
he looked like Elton John.

273
00:15:20,963 --> 00:15:22,402
I didn't!  I did.

274
00:15:25,222 --> 00:15:28,090
I did! Yeah, but he did.
Well, a crap one!

275
00:15:28,223 --> 00:15:30,092
I wonder if he's still here?

276
00:15:30,310 --> 00:15:32,715
Don't go breaking my heart!

277
00:15:33,334 --> 00:15:34,357
No, he's not here.

278
00:15:34,417 --> 00:15:37,354
He's is not here.
You're an embarrassment, John.

279
00:15:37,635 --> 00:15:40,124
I'm an embarrassment?
I had to carry you home that night!

280
00:15:52,150 --> 00:15:54,438
Hm, that's not like you.

281
00:15:54,842 --> 00:15:56,842
Well, I've been modernized,
haven't I?

282
00:16:02,017 --> 00:16:03,733
Answer the phone, you knob.

283
00:16:06,785 --> 00:16:08,844
- What's the problem?
- Oh fuck!

284
00:16:09,453 --> 00:16:10,581
This is the problem.

285
00:16:10,816 --> 00:16:13,456
Your science project has gone
very horribly wrong.

286
00:16:16,648 --> 00:16:18,337
Does Dennet know about this?

287
00:16:18,853 --> 00:16:20,165
Not until I show her, no.

288
00:16:20,830 --> 00:16:22,248
You are not serious!

289
00:16:22,273 --> 00:16:24,702
Look, I know he's my partner,
but he's a police officer.

290
00:16:24,727 --> 00:16:27,328
He's meant to protect the
public from people like ...

291
00:16:28,625 --> 00:16:29,774
What are you doing?

292
00:16:29,799 --> 00:16:32,430
Oops! CCTV seems to have vanished.

293
00:16:32,832 --> 00:16:35,001
So?  We'll still get caught.

294
00:16:35,910 --> 00:16:37,490
And this time I'm
not taking the blame.

295
00:16:37,571 --> 00:16:39,667
OK, think about this,
Carver, do the math.

296
00:16:39,816 --> 00:16:41,402
- Maths!
- If Dennett finds out,

297
00:16:41,542 --> 00:16:44,840
the whole AI project gets shut down!

298
00:16:45,200 --> 00:16:46,411
Well, maybe it should!

299
00:16:46,482 --> 00:16:47,505
He's shit.

300
00:16:47,961 --> 00:16:49,765
You failed.
You should both be fired.

301
00:16:50,187 --> 00:16:52,841
Oh, fired!
He's an AI.

302
00:16:53,296 --> 00:16:56,128
You know what happens to artificial
things when they pull the plug?

303
00:17:01,355 --> 00:17:02,730
Fuck's sake!

304
00:17:03,239 --> 00:17:06,014
Okay, well that was the photocopier,
but you get the point.

305
00:17:07,975 --> 00:17:11,936
- Bullshit. They won't kill him.
- Do you want to take that chance?

306
00:17:17,496 --> 00:17:20,009
So yeah,
I had some therapy after you...

307
00:17:20,360 --> 00:17:21,480
After you...

308
00:17:21,673 --> 00:17:24,054
Some grief counselling,
CBT, that sort of thing.

309
00:17:24,135 --> 00:17:26,790
Actually, I had so much...

310
00:17:26,814 --> 00:17:29,344
that I'm now training
to be a counsellor.

311
00:17:29,851 --> 00:17:31,354
I work with police officers,
actually.

312
00:17:31,379 --> 00:17:32,291
You go, girl!

313
00:17:32,316 --> 00:17:33,879
I just, you know,
want to help people who

314
00:17:33,891 --> 00:17:35,391
have been through
the same thing as me.

315
00:17:35,416 --> 00:17:37,375
Not the, "husband coming back
from the dead" bit,

316
00:17:37,400 --> 00:17:39,102
not that bit,
cos that's weird...that bit...

317
00:17:39,201 --> 00:17:41,209
So are you still working as a realtor?

318
00:17:41,658 --> 00:17:43,111
Estate Agent!?

319
00:17:43,135 --> 00:17:45,135
No, no, God, I gave that up
months ago.

320
00:17:45,944 --> 00:17:47,735
I don't know why I
didn't do it before.

321
00:17:47,760 --> 00:17:52,112
God, the sense of freedom and
release was like, oh my God ...

322
00:17:53,660 --> 00:17:55,421
Obviously tinged with sadness as well.

323
00:17:56,360 --> 00:17:59,169
You've turned your life around, Kel.
That's great.

324
00:17:59,894 --> 00:18:02,974
Second chances, eh?
That's what it's all about.

325
00:18:09,623 --> 00:18:12,662
So, in a counselling session
I might say something like,

326
00:18:12,881 --> 00:18:16,608
have you been experiencing
feelings of anger, and you  ...

327
00:18:16,689 --> 00:18:17,845
you might say...

328
00:18:17,915 --> 00:18:19,567
- what would you say?
- What?

329
00:18:19,750 --> 00:18:22,245
-Anger.
- Oh right no, yeah.

330
00:18:22,646 --> 00:18:25,901
Yeah, well, err,
I got kind of crabby, at work today.

331
00:18:26,248 --> 00:18:28,399
Good. And - and, how's your
concentration?

332
00:18:28,424 --> 00:18:30,353
Is that easier or harder...

333
00:18:31,134 --> 00:18:33,103
you know,
since the software update?

334
00:18:33,700 --> 00:18:35,700
How do you know I
had a software update?

335
00:18:42,223 --> 00:18:45,072
I think someone mentioned
it at the lab when I ...

336
00:18:45,153 --> 00:18:47,653
I don't believe this!
You're testing me.

337
00:18:48,544 --> 00:18:50,114
- John ...
- Is she here?

338
00:18:50,333 --> 00:18:52,599
Dr. Parfit?  She is, isn't she?

339
00:18:52,685 --> 00:18:54,578
- Listening.
- Of course she's not listening!

340
00:18:54,624 --> 00:18:56,179
Don't be silly!

341
00:18:59,255 --> 00:19:02,476
I'm gonna phone her later,
and tell her what you've said.

342
00:19:02,789 --> 00:19:05,320
- My own wife is a stool pigeon!
- What?

343
00:19:05,585 --> 00:19:06,695
I thought this was a date.

344
00:19:06,719 --> 00:19:09,055
I thought you were doing this
because you cared.

345
00:19:09,194 --> 00:19:12,764
I do care very deeply about you, John,
that's why I'm trying to help you.

346
00:19:12,842 --> 00:19:15,258
By tricking me? Spying on me?

347
00:19:15,339 --> 00:19:17,146
No, Dr. Parfit said
that you weren't doing your tests,

348
00:19:17,171 --> 00:19:19,808
and I was worried about you. She
needs to know how you are feeling.

349
00:19:19,889 --> 00:19:22,178
If you gave two bits
about my feelings, Kelly,

350
00:19:22,287 --> 00:19:24,209
we wouldn’t be here right now!

351
00:19:39,755 --> 00:19:41,211
Fuck!

352
00:19:41,447 --> 00:19:43,973
- The date not go well?
- No!  It did not go well!

353
00:19:44,286 --> 00:19:46,798
- You saw her foot off?
- What? No.

354
00:19:46,879 --> 00:19:48,888
You're making progress then,
aren't you!

355
00:19:48,969 --> 00:19:51,242
Why is everyone
busting my balls today?

356
00:19:51,532 --> 00:19:55,719
Oi, <i>"Ghost in the Shell."</i>
Dennet wants to see you both.

357
00:19:56,394 --> 00:19:57,751
She doesn't sound happy.

358
00:19:57,928 --> 00:20:00,259
Maybe it's something to do with
perverting the course of justice.

359
00:20:00,472 --> 00:20:02,010
What do you mean?

360
00:20:02,292 --> 00:20:04,409
I thought you were fixing it?
Have you not fixed it!?

361
00:20:05,445 --> 00:20:07,952
What, you mean gone back in time
and stopped you from being a dickhead?

362
00:20:07,977 --> 00:20:10,210
Carver, the committee will
switch me off!

363
00:20:10,291 --> 00:20:12,694
Can't you take the blame?
Again. Last time, I promise.

364
00:20:12,775 --> 00:20:14,804
- No!
- For me! Please!

365
00:20:14,884 --> 00:20:17,842
- You said there's no “I” in team.
- Turned out there's no "U" in honor.

366
00:20:17,923 --> 00:20:20,382
There is if you fucking
spell it properly!

367
00:20:28,643 --> 00:20:32,043
- It's about this foot business.
- Oh, uhm, the thing is ma'am,

368
00:20:32,124 --> 00:20:34,759
we think there is a serial killer
targeting twins.

369
00:20:34,840 --> 00:20:37,240
- You need to drop the case.
- What?

370
00:20:37,466 --> 00:20:39,985
Communication from MI5.
The whole thing's been classified.

371
00:20:40,665 --> 00:20:42,516
We're to act like we never found
a foot in the first place.

372
00:20:42,541 --> 00:20:43,732
But boss, I mean, that's ...

373
00:20:43,744 --> 00:20:45,548
Pain in the arse,
but it can't be helped.

374
00:20:46,322 --> 00:20:47,829
Case closed.

375
00:20:54,239 --> 00:20:55,653
You did this!

376
00:20:56,279 --> 00:20:58,279
You and Parfit.
You had my back after all!

377
00:20:58,413 --> 00:21:00,110
We should probably
have this bit of the conversation

378
00:21:00,122 --> 00:21:01,705
after we've left the office.

379
00:21:01,836 --> 00:21:04,307
Oh, um, before I forget.

380
00:21:04,534 --> 00:21:05,634
I caught the fly tipper.

381
00:21:05,659 --> 00:21:06,464
- What?
- What?

382
00:21:06,476 --> 00:21:08,653
Sorry. Yeah,
I forgot to mention it.

383
00:21:09,286 --> 00:21:11,419
A cell phone was recovered
from the fly tipping site.

384
00:21:11,444 --> 00:21:14,107
Analysis of the data
led me to identify a suspect.

385
00:21:14,987 --> 00:21:17,869
- He's made a full confession.
- Excellent work, DI Major!

386
00:21:17,894 --> 00:21:18,938
You're a credit to the force.

387
00:21:19,097 --> 00:21:21,482
- Just doing my <i>doody</i>.
- Duty!  - DI Carver?”

388
00:21:21,933 --> 00:21:23,758
You could learn a lot from this man.

389
00:21:24,267 --> 00:21:26,404
- Dismissed.
- Thank you, boss.

390
00:21:27,156 --> 00:21:28,726
Bell end!

391
00:21:48,433 --> 00:21:51,354
How did you manage to hack into MI5
and send that fake message?

392
00:21:51,851 --> 00:21:55,196
Please!  I have been doing that stuff
since kindergarten.

393
00:21:55,877 --> 00:21:57,842
Well, you can’t do it for him
every time he screws up.

394
00:21:58,402 --> 00:22:01,411
He won't screw up from now on.
I've updated the update

395
00:22:01,500 --> 00:22:03,763
and reset the language defaults.

396
00:22:03,844 --> 00:22:08,156
This one really will enhance
his cognition... significantly.

397
00:22:11,782 --> 00:22:13,782
<i>... I got shot.</i>

398
00:22:22,199 --> 00:22:23,770
Obernik?

399
00:22:24,630 --> 00:22:26,513
Werbenik?

400
00:22:27,286 --> 00:22:28,802
Helpf me, mein freund!

401
00:22:29,182 --> 00:22:31,257
Yeah, that's fine, yeah,
leave him like that! Brilliant!

402
00:22:31,338 --> 00:22:32,899
I'm just ...

403
00:23:11,451 --> 00:23:12,890
Major!

404
00:23:20,513 --> 00:23:22,315
I have got one lead.

405
00:23:23,160 --> 00:23:25,160
You can use it to charge a phone
off your head.

406
00:23:30,404 --> 00:23:32,203
Have you been seeing someone?

407
00:23:32,945 --> 00:23:34,945
Yes, I have, John, yeah.

408
00:23:45,030 --> 00:23:48,034
You 'orrible, little, scumbag!

409
00:23:53,896 --> 00:23:55,278
Jesus!

410
00:23:55,498 --> 00:23:57,498
I think he's got a knife.